This pandemic has been hard on so many people in many different & it’s really starting to hit me. I live with my partner and dog, have friends I talk to often, I walk or bike daily with my dog, I read, express creativity & enjoy hobbies, listen to podcasts, garden, sleep 7-8 hrs, working from home keeps me occupied and I enjoy my job.
I’m just feeling so apathetic lately. A month ago I was struggling to eat, I’ve lost about 15 lbs in quarantine, feeling anxious, etc. Now I’m not feeling as afraid to eat and am feeling ravenous with food and having it dictate my plans and it’s overwhelming. I don’t want to commit to any plans because I’m not sure how I’ll feel in the moment (which makes me feel selfish and unreliable) and I just feel kind of pointless and out of control lately. I’ve just been in a funk, feel out of control with anxiety/depression, and am just upset that I don’t feel like I can control my life right now and commit to plans or feel good about much (even though I live a pretty great life.)
I’m not sure what I’m looking for with this, (maybe some more control?) I’m just so tired of feeling out of control & disconnected.
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