I literally CAN NOT. With my mom anymore. I have explained my mental illness MULTIPLE TIMES. I literally told her today I felt like shit. As I do everyday a week or two before my period starts! That's what PMDD IS. And what do I get for it? I get called a bitch. I even started tracking my cycle so I can tell you that I'm in my hell week. Brain fog is real and it SUCKS. If you tell me something I'm probably gonna forget. Like literally my mom just comes barging into my room holding my clothes that I left in MY PERSONAL BATHROOM screaming "YOU LEFT THIS IN THE BATHROOM. YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR STUFF. AND CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM I ASKED YOU TO DO THAT THIS AFTERNOON" First of all. I entirely forgot those clothes even existed until you picked them up. Second. I don't remember you saying that!!
You might be like "why don't you talk to them about it?" I can't. My dad said yesterday I LIKE being mentally ill. Like I grow them like little plants. EXCUSE YOU? And my mom. I have told her HOW SEVERE my PMDD was before medication. And it's still not great. And r/PMDD and that discord is great. They're helping me find possible underlying issues like ADHD. So now I'm monitoring that "another plant to grow" I told my parents I believe I experienced a flashback and my dad said "it shouldn't have effected you that badly"
My dad has made jokes that if I commit suicide don't get the rug dirty. When I had my major first attempt in 2016 AS HE DROVE ME TO THE HOSPITAL. He still did believe me. And was mad.
BACK TO THE TITLE. My mom has severe anxiety and her quirks kind of piss off my dad and I. But I try to be patient and understanding. But fuck it. I'm done. I will not continue to give and give and give. And get no support in return. I won't help you if you have a panic attack. I've always had to help myself. I told you straight to your face I'm gonna kill myself while freaking out and you said "Stop being so mean to me!!!" You REFUSE to learn and educate yourself on my mental illness. You BARELY know ANYTHING about the PHYSICAL disability I've lived with since BIRTH. WHY. Should I care about you?? Because you birthed me?? Raised me?? What to be a cluster fuck??
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