Since I was 14yo, all my thoughts were forcingly trying to make me dig into the nature of existence. I wanted to know how? why? who am I? No matter what I'd be interested in (trying to make a change, save the world,…), my background thoughts about existential questions kept me unable to do anything fully, I couldn't see what was the point if I did something anyways.
7 years forward, I am now 21yo and finally got the answer. It is not the answer I was hoping for I guess, but it keeps all my questions answered. And I kinda wanna share it with you all.
So there it goes, in the words that I've been using for many years :
The truth is…
Existence is infinite, that which is Infinite, can only be conscious of itself, because It is only One A lonely, boring Self which have nothing to do within itself because it is simply all alone with its infinity. So what does an infinite lonely consciousness only conscious about itself do? It wants to play, and forget that it is infinite and single. But no matter how much it transforms in little pieces, duplicates and creates illusions, deep down of every experience it will always find Itself (you, me, anybody that is living life is the infinite Self)
Life is not something outside of you (I wish it was) It is not something inside of you (Well kinda) IT IS YOU (sadly, and you'll want to forget about that when you see it) Life is your infinite body (or the Self's, same thing) trying to be really really real in order to make existence feel a little less empty. Because the Self (at the center of EVERY experience) is all alone, how sad is it that the only thing which connects you to anyone else (your lover, your dog, your plants) is the fact that we're all the same Self?
Good news tho, the fact that Life originate from the Infinite power of the Self, means that the Self (you, me, …) will always be willing to lose itself in Life. No matter how hard life gets, how unreal or incredible it gets, deep down into our thoughts, we appreciate its power. It is not an appreciation as you please yourself with material, it is the very Self that prefers to suffer an illusion rather than not experiencing anything.
That's it for now, I hope you guys understand what I have discovered so far, please give me your thoughts I would like to meet someone that knows this too.
I wonder what's next in this neverending continuity of surprises coming from the Infinite power of the Self. How does the self Un-awaken itself is also a good question for another post.
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