I can’t cope with my sisters metal health.

I’m 17 she’s 19. She isn’t diagnosed with anything, but she is on anti-Psychotic medication.

She screams, cry’s and wails everyday, she insults me, screams at me, calls me a bitch ect, hits me, throws things. But she’ll also tell me she loves me, that I’m the only person she has, that she’s so grateful for my help, so grateful for everything I do for her. She is paranoid, any conversation can transform into screaming and crying and hyperventilating, running up the garden screaming, rolling around on the floor, banging the walls. I don’t like coming out of my room.

Most mornings I am woken up by screaming, I struggle to sleep, once asleep, she comes into my room to wake me up. Or just the screaming outside will wake me up. Sometimes I sleep through, some nights I only get a few hours sleep.

This is been everyday for over 2 months.

I suffer with anxiety and at points depression. When stressed I get tense, I get a lot of pain in my arms and legs from tension. Last few nights I’ve fallen asleep around 6-8am.

I feel awful for her, I do everything I can for her, it hurts to see her in so much pain. How do I help her? She is seeing doctors and has a metal health support team. Her constant attacks and words cut me so deeply, I love her. She knows everything about me and knows how to hurt me. She is so delusional and paranoid, she can’t be held responsible for her actions or word. Any stress results in screaming, crying, and panic attacks. She screamed so much today her nose started bleeding.

I don’t know what to do. I need help but I don’t know where to go. Covid has complicated everything. I can’t cope. I can’t live here. I was trying to move out but finding work at 17 during Covid is near impossible. I can’t get away due to lockdown. I can’t sleep. I want to scream.

Edit: mental health not metal lol

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