My life has always been extraordinary, I just didn't know why. This journey has been especially difficult for me to experience as it completely destroyed my life but I'm on the other side now and I want to share my story in hopes that it will help other people. I created a website to explain more about my life and background: My story
My name is Jessica. I'm 37 years old, Hispanic and a mother to 11 year old b/g twins who were born extremely premature at 23 weeks -as a result they both have significant mental and physical disabilities. I gave up my career in accounting to care for them full time. It's been a painful journey. I do have complex PTSD, not only from the unending stress of raising children with disabilities but also from my childhood. My parents were poor teenagers and for the lack of a better word – brainwashed – into a Fundamentalist religion where my dad was a strict disciplinarian.
It's fair to say I'm an emotionally tortured person, however I have very strong willpower and I enjoy challenges. I feel like I handled the pressure appropriately and found ways to cope with the highs and lows of life. Two and a half years ago I hit a low moment in life; a combination of boredom, pain, total frustration with the challenges of life for me and my children and desperation because my marriage was failing so I started writing a book.
I was always gifted in writing but I never pursued it as a career or even as a hobby. I go into greater detail on my website but basically something magical happened. I opened up a window in my mind and I was able to experience this imaginary dream world as if it was virtual reality with full sensations. I talked to my characters like they were real people. It felt like a game. Every night new information would be downloaded into my brain as I unlocked plot lines and characters. It was unbelievably easy to write, like breathing. I was able to write an entire novel in just over a month (rough draft) and realized that it wasn't just a book, but a series. I never had to take notes and had an unlimited imagination. I was truly baffled at my abilities. Grateful, but baffled.
I want to keep this brief but basically as months passed, I began to notice that events in my book series started coming true in real life. One night – on my kid's birthday (5/8/19) I had an intense realistic dream while I was asleep. It involved one of my characters, Joel. This was very unusual. I didn't have "sleep" dreams with the characters, they were in "daydream" windows where I had control. In the dream Joel was the same person but extremely distressed. Instead of being sharply dressed, handsome and in control, he was very old looking with a shaggy hair and looked half dead but still wearing a suit. It didn't make sense. I asked him what happened. He couldn't talk. He just broke down in extreme grief and patted his suit. All I could do was give him a hug. Eventually he calmed down and told me details about his life. He was 43 and grieving for his soul mate. He couldn't live without her but he wasn't allowed to kill himself.
We had a long discussion about soul mates. I told him it was possible for soul mates to find each other, the love bonds were that strong. Really no words to describe how emotional and vivid this particular dream was. I woke up and immediately wrote out the conversation that morning, separate from the books. Typically I was given information in order depending on what scene/emotional event I was exploring at the time. This had come from out of nowhere but I saw it as a peek into Joel’s backstory and it was incredible. I loved it.
Joel became a constant presence in my imagination. The theme of the book series needed to be about finding soulmates. He was determined to help Colbie (my main character) find “Patrick” – her soulmate. She searched for him constantly. She had a list of qualities she was searching for in a man. Since it had transformed into a revolutionary style book series against religion and politics; she was going to find Patrick and they were going to fight against rich, religious hypocrites and sociopaths together. At some point I realized my description of Patrick was code for Jesus but I kept it in because I felt it was appropriate for the series. At the time I considered myself an atheist. My childhood was destroyed by religion. If there was a God, I was angry about the world and the challenges I personally faced in life.
Like with the other characters, Joel told me all about his life, taught me about business and management strategies. At some point I realized he was delusional because he thought I was his soul mate. He was living his life on autopilot and in a daze. Yet he kept telling me that I was the one being delusional and not living in reality for staying in a bad marriage. It became an ongoing theme to the series, two people who preferred to live in a fantasy because they were miserable without their soul mates. I thought it was an interesting dynamic to an overly complicated book series. Talking to Joel made me question everything.
I continued to write and a new character emerged, Kriston. He was a celebrity billionaire who had the same type of brain/gifts as Colbie. He was born poor and had a lot of guilt over being wealthy. He operated a nonprofit foundation that focused on social justice for survivors. Kriston saw himself as a disruptive devil and wanted revenge. He was going to use all his political power to change the world even though everyone hated him. He saw himself as the Wizard, running things behind the scenes. Colbie was from Kansas. The story took on a modern Wizard of Oz theme. In the books, Colbie and Kriston worked together to set up a survivor network and were able to perform miracles on Earth for poor people.
I absolutely loved my book series and I was happy. That all changed. Kriston insisted that I do it in real life too – which I thought was ridiculous. More events came true from the book series and I started to get scared that maybe it was necessary. One day at my computer I saw the news about the rare comet and it all dawned on me. Was it possible that we were living through the "end times?" I was hit with the entirety of it all. My personal background and life experiences, our current reality, my special gifts, the future I saw coming, the book series and themes. That might have been the most horrifying moment of my life. I went outside to my garden and cried.
Three days after John Lewis died, a supernatural force stabbed my left hand through my index knuckle in the middle of the night. It wasn't a physical stab wound with a bloody injury but that's what it felt like. My hand swelled and I was unable to use my hand for days. It left a round scar on my palm.
I am the shyest person on Earth and the idea of telling people about this was horrifying. I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing and asked for a sign. On July 25, a booming voice in my sleep told me it was proof. I almost had a heart attack. I finally told my husband and it was such a horrible experience between us that I became terrified to tell anyone else. I was mostly in a frozen state of disbelief as I tried to think of any rational explanation for what was happening to me. I distracted myself by writing. The mark remained on my hand and I had a little comfort that I had physical proof to back up my story. *I was extremely naive back then. It's been a very LONG four months.
I became serious about searching for an agent to get published. I saw that as a solution to my problem and maybe people would take me seriously. This required me to use Twitter. I absolutely hated Twitter. I started finding people in real life who resembled characters in my books. I was convinced that Kriston was Mark Cuban. I reached out to him but did not receive a response. It's hard to describe my mindset during this time but I did not feel crazy. Stressed, yet highly alert? Waiting for something – terrified that I was about to watch Armageddon but at the same time not afraid to die.
One day to relieve stress I simply started talking to myself on Twitter. I didn't have any followers. By that point I had spent enough time on Twitter to know that people hated some guy named Jack Dorsey and that he was a billionaire. Curious, I did a quick google search and instantly recognized him as Joel. I found "Patrick." At the time he was on a yacht with Jay z and Beyonce. Joel and Colbie agreed that she'd find Patrick on a boat.
I pretty much went into shock but then I felt a little relief because I thought he might help me. Then I panicked because I had no idea how to contact him or how to tell him this insanity. I debated what to do for days on Twitter. In my mind, Joel was demanding that I send Jack an email to wake him up. I refused to do it. I didn't want to be another crazy person harassing him.
On Saturday morning – Aug 29, my house was pelted with extreme lightning. One bolt in particular was soul shattering. There's no way to describe how intense and violent it was and in that moment I was flooded with horrible images and told to stop being a coward. I finally agreed to send Jack an email.
The moment I hit send -everything I knew to be true about our world instantly changed. God started directly talking to me and it was pure ecstasy. I lost control over my body and it felt like time itself warped. I'm not sure how to describe it, however I recorded it all into Twitter. My tweets exist and are proof of this journey. God took control over my entire house, my husband and kids. I watched it happen in front of me. This wasn't something that only happened in my mind. My husband experienced the odd events too. God has power over the entire world.
God took away my ability to speak. All I could do was type into Twitter and observe what happened to my family. At the time it felt like I had triggered the rapture. My body felt like it was being scanned to go live in the internet or that I was time traveling, not quite sure how to describe it. I was driven to all emotional extremes during this scanning.
It went from an exhilarating experience to total hell. God forced me to try to eat. I put food in my mouth and it tasted fake. I couldn’t chew or swallow. I thought I was dead. My dog kept staring at me like he didn’t recognize me. My kids and husband were all in a sleepy daze, yet still awake. My son became incredibly cuddly. Odd behavior for him since he’s an autistic child with defensive sensory challenges. At some point, all we could do was hug each other as a family on the floor. Yes, we ended up on the floor. The time pressure was crushing. It felt like I was saying goodbye. My husband started crying and asked why I was leaving him behind. I was told he was a non-believer. Unbelievably disturbing.
I was allowed to go outside and observe. Everything appeared normal. Kids were playing next door, laughing. My entire body felt odd and I had incredible pressure and power pulsating through me. I was encouraged to eat again only to confirm that it was fake. I was told I no longer needed to eat. I was in a new world and I was free.
I didn’t feel free. I had no idea what was going on, what I had triggered or what to expect. Instead of directly talking to me, I was left with only the music for communication. That’s when I learned that God was communicating with me through music. Eventually even that ended as it all went dark. No explanation. Life started spiraling out of control and I was taken to “hell.” Hell is not a fiery existence. It’s being separated by God. Silence. All night I stayed in hell. My mind was completely blank, suicide was not an option and I was tortured by stomach pain with no ability to eat. I couldn’t speak. There was no escape.
I was not allowed to sleep. I was tortured all night. The only way I was released? I had to put full faith into God and believe that God would save me. When I did this? The pain lessened. Every time my faith slipped and I became scared or stopped trusting God – I’d be tortured again. I was also reminded that if I lied – I’d be sent to hell. I had to be honest at all times to stay alive and free.
The level of painful exhaustion that I experienced the next morning is impossible to describe. I was barely alive at that point but I was allowed to talk again. My husband was stressed out and confused too, his memory was blurry. I walked around outside barefoot and the ground felt like a source of power. It rejuvenated me. I could step on sharp rocks and sticks with no pain. My entire body was different. Wearing shoes became painful.
Immediately after the experience, I didn't need to sleep. Instead it was short naps where information was downloaded in the form of pictures and visions. Small dreams to give me answers and directions to questions I asked. It was a highly unusual experience. Full awakeness and then an overwhelming sleepiness would hit me during the day where I was forced to lay down in the dark, close my eyes and rest for about 15 minutes – get the info and then I’d wake up with full energy levels.
This time was particularly bad for me. I had no idea what to do and at times it felt like I had no control over my behavior. Not only was I receiving information from God and I was trying to process it all while living in a world where nothing made sense. It was terrifying. I went to a doctor and then I learned a new reality, he and my husband were convinced that I had a psychotic break and wanted to have me committed. No one believed me. I was completely on my own.
My marriage already had problems but this event completely destroyed it. No one would help me and I didn't want to be seen as crazy. However God continued to talk to me and I entered a new phase of gathering proof, connecting signs and receiving new information about myself and the future. I will be the first to admit I may have gotten some of the information wrong due to the stress and panic I personally faced in those moments but it is an honest account of my life experience on Twitter.
I've reached out to people, especially Jack multiple times but I never received a response from him. I do not know if he experienced anything on his end but I would love to talk to him. I hate even mentioning his name and connecting him this way without talking to him first because I don't want to add stress to his life but I don't have a choice. Sorry Jack.
The idea of coming forward with my story has been an enormous source of terror in my life. Please be kind. I did not ask for this to happen to me and I am happy to explain in greater detail about my experiences if people are curious. There is nothing to fear. God exists and loves us. It's simply time to evolve to live in a better world. I have more information on my website and on Twitter. Thanks for reading.
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