(21F) Confused about my identity and feminity


Hello everyone. English isn't my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake. Recently, I've been doubting my identity. My family isn't conservative and as a child, I didn't care about fashion/style as long as my clothes were comfy, but I've always loved lots of stuff that are stereotypically seen as feminine (even if I don't agree with this vision) : pink, princesses, dolls, etc. I also used to love 19th children books about little girls lives and adventures, which caused my passion for history. As a teenager, I fell in love with cutesy Japanese fashion, and now I'm more into vintage European fashion. My hobbies are still those considered feminine by society: beauty, sewing, cooking, dance, plants. Being in therapy I started questioning myself more and more about who am I, what do I like, what do I want to do in life, etc. Started reading about gender norms, how little girls are more exposed to pink and princesses, and little boys to blue and cars, and questioning myself: Is my love for all those stereotypically feminine stuff genuine or was I brainwashed by gendered norms? (I have OCD so maybe I'm worrying too much, but still…) I mean, I don't only like these things, I also love short haircuts, gaming, drawing… But I've received criticism from both men and women about being submissive and brainwashed and can't help but worry. Even after reading about gender norms and doing some self reflection I still love all those stereotypically feminine things. According to my description, how much do you think gender norms impacted me? Growing up, how did you deal with gender norms? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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