Struggling with mixed emotions about my aunt’s newly diagnosed cancer. I need to talk it out with spiritual people.


Firstly, let me just say most of the reason my feelings are mixed at all is because she's likely in the very early stages of a very treatable cancer (I say likely because we won't know for sure for two weeks, but she gets checked every year, so it's almost definitely fresh), and 95% of people with this diagnosis (who do what the doctors tell them) are all still alive in 5 years, and 70% don't have any other scare for the rest of their lives. She's also a millionaire, so she has resources. She's likely going to be fine. Nevertheless, I do understand how traumatic it must be to even get a diagnosis like that, let alone go through surgery or chemo. And then the constant fear of remission….it's terrible, regardless of it being a "better" cancer. I get it.

But.

The woman is a terrible person with ZERO compassion for other people. So here lies my struggle. While I never wished her something like this, the spiritual part of me that believes everything happens FOR us, tends to think this illness is here to aid her in her development. (Whether it will or not is anyone's guess. Plenty of terrible people out there with illnesses.)

She is a giant racist who calls black people monkeys. She thinks poor people are simply lazy. When she was ranting against the idea of universal healthcare, I tried to tug on her heartstrings by telling her that I know what it's like to get seizures because I had to ration my epilepsy medication (true story) due to a loss of a job, to which she replied that ***I'M*** selfish for expecting her to pay more taxes so that all people can have access to their needed medications.

If you believe in a conscious universe, how is this NOT divine intervention? What's more perfect for a person like this than an illness that may drain her resources, causes physical pain, and makes her fight for her very survival? Not in a "punishment" sense, just in a "here's a lesson served with love so that you may open your heart to your fellow man" sense.

I put my feelings about her aside to tell her I'm here for her, for anything she needs. I sent flowers. I comforted her mother, her children. But if I'm honest, internally, I'm so sick of my family acting like this is happening to such a gem of a human. This is NOT one of those times when something bad happened to a good person. I hope she survives, and I hope this is just a tough time in her life, not something that takes her life. But I also hope that the journey is bad enough that she learns not to be such a motherfreaking a hole.

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