This is my first post I have ever done on this app. I wanted to talk about how my great grandmother and grandma raised me as a child before my mother turn away towards another path (Christianity) and never went back to our ways of being. I was raised with herbs no hospitals for the longest time. I was raised to never wear shoes because “ it will disconnect you from it” I remember many things we used to do. We used to go to our backyard that has the woods because my family owns a small patch of land. We would sit on the dirt and my grandma would take water that she gather in a jar, she would wet her hands then touch the dirt for minutes to hour. She never allowed me to touch the water or the land until I turned “old enough” and when I did. I honestly can’t explained with words because what I felt it was completely new. Is like if u think of a new color, u can’t! The best I can describe it is a sense of cold and like a deep sleep feeling. She told me. “ is at peace” I didn’t understood what she meant by “it” but I later learned. “It” is the land, or earth, the energy surrounding us, nature itself. Growing up I learned to use my surroundings for to grow plants, trees,to cure, eat, etc. I learned that u ask permission to nature to the trees you take fruit from, you are send wounded animals to cure by “it” because “it” trust you. Later my mom took me slowly away from her and what I grew knowing slowly wash away.
In my20s I started to have trouble sleeping I would dream this same damn bird and oil coming from a leaf non stop I will wake up and fall asleep to the same dream. One day I had this urge to sit in front of the river. So I did I took my shoes off before stepping on the land. Sitting there for some reason I felt I needed to touch the water then the land. I felt immense heat and fear.
I don’t understand what’s going on but it is not ok. It didn’t felt ok. So I begin doing what I used to do as a child. What I practiced with my grandma for years. To my disbelief later in like a few months my neighbour approached to me with a baby pigeon and said it probably fall from the nest…. it wasn’t just a bird it was exact bird I was dreaming non stop.
Now I am in my 23 years I still don’t know if what I have is a gift, what is it called, what my grandma is, but what I know is that I can’t step away and I don’t wanna step away from the land. I am devoted to “it” I follow “it”. I somehow understand it I have notes of medicinal herbs I learn to grew and harvest, notes on the sun setting, notes on many things that my grandma wrote.
I believe I have a gift but what it is I don’t know. But the land is my home and my duty to follow it.
I do many practices and even if some I don’t fully understand I can feel it likes it and I am doing it right.
I wish to know what I am. Asking my grandma only lead me with “you are it” am I a guardian to the land?
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